How to Eat When You’re Poor (UK Edition, No Food Intolerance)

caledoniaseries:

Being poor sucks. We all know that. Surviving on almost nothing is not only soul-sucking, there’s no real adventure intrigue to it. Things that take a long time to cook only add to that.

This isn’t going to be a perfectly healthy list of fruits and vegetables, but things to eat that will keep you feeling fed with interesting meals on the cheap. This list is also only for those with no food intolerances at all. I will be writing a few of these, based on places I’ve personally lived. Some of the advice can overlap countries, so it’s worth checking them all out. Keep an eye out for one that will work for you!

Ramyun: I cannot stress this enough for people who don’t mind spicy food. Packets of ramyun are sold in most Asian supermarkets all over the UK and Ireland. This is basically a Korean form of spicy ramen noodles. Buy American cheese slices (yes, trust me on this) and some eggs; drop an egg in there once the noodles are about 1 minute from finished during the boil. Don’t let the egg cook too long or you’ll lose the soft yolk. Pour all this into a big bowl or just eat it out of the pot. Either way, you lay the American cheese across the top when you’re finished. Ready to eat! A very warming dish in the winter and especially good for hangovers. You can add veggies if you like, but we’re going for simple.

Cost: 5-pack ramyun, around £4.50, 6-pack eggs, cheapest at Lidl about 80p, American cheese slices £1 for 10. £6 total for 5 meals.

Pesto Pasta: This is a delicious option that’s super cheap and will keep you fed and happy for quite a while. A package of fusilli pasta and a jar of pesto (or several jars). Best-tasting one I’ve found is in Tesco and from Barilla, Pesto Alla Genovese, but honestly you can get a little jar of pesto anywhere. Warning: pesto is pine nuts! A block of mature cheddar cheese. Cook up the pasta, mix in the pesto, top with a few slices of cheese. Awesome. Tastes incredible with malbec if you’re into wine. The bag of pasta will last you for several meals.

Cost: Fusilli pasta, 50p. Pesto sauce, 90p-£1 (1 bottle=2 meals). Block of mature cheddar, £2-3. £6 total for 5 meals.

Chicken kievs: Tesco sells 4-packs of chicken kievs for 2.50. Another brand does 2-packs for 88p. This gets some protein into your diet. Pick up a bag of basmati rice and put the kievs on it. Hint: put a pat of butter and some dark soy sauce on the rice. You can also add cheddar to the kievs if you feel like it.

Cost: Chicken kievs, £88p for 2 or 2.50 for 4. Basmati rice: £1-2. Optional dark soy sauce: £1-2 and butter £1-2, cheddar as above £2-3. Lowest option, with 88p kievs and basmati rice: £3 for 5 meals; with dark soy & butter, £4.50 for 5 meals; with cheddar £6 for 5 meals.

Broccoli Mac & Cheese with Garlic Bread: Lidl has packets of broccoli mac & cheese for 30p and bags of garlic bread for £1. This could be any variety of mac & cheese where you also add broccoli, but these are the cheapest I’ve seen. £2.75 (including cost of milk) for 5 meals.

DRINKS: Yes, you’re poor. This doesn’t mean you have to completely cut out other fun things. These are some recommendations for affordable wines and spirits that don’t taste like licking turpentine (and here in the UK a lot of the wine tastes that way, even brands from other countries for some reason):

Cheap Options for Wines:

Red: Argentinian malbec tends to taste the best and cost the least.

White: Look for anything from the Loire valley or vinho verde from Portugal.

Rosé: French, sometimes English.

Hint: buy the wine that originally cost the most and has the best on-sale price; a wine that was 18 and is now 6 vs a wine that was 10 and is now 8.

Cheap Options for Spirits:

Vodka and ginger ale

Rum and coke

WHERE TO BUY: If you have enough to buy in bulk, Majestic Wines or other UK wine warehouses will get you the best prices for the best flavours. Don’t have a ton of money at your disposal? Bring like 5-6 of your friends and each of you choose a bottle. Failing that, drinks should be purchased at higher-end stores because snobs won’t stand for shitty wine. You’d be surprised at how cheap some of the wines are at M and S, for example; we had one recently called Summer Fizz that was a glorified sort of gin and tonic champagne for £3 per bottle. This is only an example, but steer clear of purchasing alcohol at the cheap shops as you’re only going to regret it. They may be good for food but the booze tastes like licking an oilworker’s boot.

Prices will vary because alcohol prices vary. These are suggestions and starters. Wine with a plastic cork will be more reliable than wine with a wooden cork; don’t let that dissuade you. Much of what you’ll end up liking is based on personal taste. Experiment! Look around.

Cheap Options for Soft Drinks:

Squash is the UK and Ireland’s cheap go-to flavouring. They also sell it in little travel packs now so you can add it to your water. I think it’s disgusting but everyone I know loves it.

Juice (as in fruit juice, not soda) is sold in cardboard cartons in Tesco and other markets for less than £1.

Soda There’s always a sale on Irn-Bru somewhere in Scotland. Don’t drink too much soda or you will feel like garbage.

Cheap Options for Fruit/veg: You know those Indian and African supermarkets with the fruit stand outside? Try there first. They often have good prices. Asian and African supermarkets are a lifesaver if you are a person who likes fruit and veg.

Desserts:

Ice cream is available in many flavours for less than £1 per carton.

Biscuits are also available for less than £1 per packet. Mix them with your ice cream 🙂

Snacks

Primula & Ritz available for £2 at farmfoods

Battenberg cake sells for £1 at Tesco

Tip 1: Pick up some cheap spices, pepper, garlic, cayenne for a little kick. Get a different one on occasion to see if you like it. There is a cheap variety of spice in most stores, the ones that are less than £1. They will enhance your food a lot.

Tip 2: If you have a local butcher or fishmonger, see if they have deals. You’d be surprised what you can find if you look outside of the larger chain shops.

Tip 3: Bag o’ chicken. Most grocery stores have a way to buy a large bag of chicken in bulk; this can last for a while if you freeze it. However, you have to REALLY like chicken.

Tip 4: Foods to buy just to have around if you want to make something else: Eggs, Cheese, Milk, Rice, Pasta. Then you can make whatever is on offer by mix n matching these ingredients and experimenting on your own.

Tip 5: Lidl and Aldi are your friends. Asda and Iceland are there when you absolutely need them. DO NOT BUY DRINKS FROM THESE STORES IT IS GROSS. Tesco is reliable. Stop in to M and S and Waitrose sometimes; they have sales and you can get some amazing food there.

That’s it for the UK edition. I hope this helps people, as I speak from long experience. Half of the frustration with being poor is feeling like you can only eat garbage, and I hope this list brings some relief to my buds out there who need it.