Someone who has been mentally abused will :

kukomi-the-squid:

thelittlemerms:

kukomi-the-squid:

brunhiddensmusings:

so-allein:

*Constantly apologize

*Need loads of reassuring

*break down over small disagreements

*hide their feelings in order to not upset you

*have low self esteem due to insults

Please be patient, we are trying.

framing each of these as a problem thats their fault- NOT HELPING

What would help?

as far as the constantly apologizing one, saying “you’re fine” “it’s not a problem” etc, is sometimes helpful but only if it’s implied that the person is apologizing for something they perceive they did or are, ie. sorry I’m a bad friend, sorry I didn’t respond earlier etc. if they say sorry in a context of “sorry you’re feeling sick” or “sorry you had a bad day” then saying “it’s not your fault” is just annoying because they’re not implying it is. in that case a better response would be reassurance that you are or will be okay, or to thank them for their concern. 

in terms of needing reassurance, I think compliments directed at a persons talents or recognition of how much hard work they’ve done to achieve a thing is a good start. Especially if they’re fixating on things they think they can’t do, highlight things they can do. Comments like “your x skills are improving” or “that *inset thing* must have taken a long time.” this kind of thing helps with self confidence too. 

Thanks, Merms. You’re a good friend.