femaleleduniversity:

One fundamental aspect of a female led relationship, is that it is not about male fantasy.  I’ve talked about this many times throughout the previous lessons, about how mainstream portrayal of female domination is extremely skewered and biased toward male fantasy, that it is truly not an accurate depiction of what an FLR is all about.  

Male fantasy in fact, destroys the very idea of FLR and female domination, and I think its time someone finally said it.  So let me repeat that…. Male fantasy destroys the very idea of FLR and female domination.

It’s hard enough for women to discover their dominant side without the droves of men flocking to her asked to be dominated and all the things they’d love to do to serve her.  Any woman who might be dominant curious just got scared away by male fantasy. It instantly makes female domination weird and taboo, and it can never be normalized because of desperate male fantasy.  

Do you males understand that?  You’re literally scaring women away from discovering their dominant side because they get random foot fetish weirdos breathing down their neck before they’ve even looked up the term “submissive male.” It’s an instant turn off to them, so it pushes them back to their traditional “ men suck” mindset.  

Ironically, it keeps the desperate submissive male single and lonely, and it keeps the would be dominant woman single and lonely, thank god for video games and ice cream.  But wouldn’t it be nice, to break through that barrier? Wouldn’t it be nice if sub men, and dominant women, could actually talk to each other as human beings and perhaps maybe get to know each other?  Yes or yes?

The problem, is male fantasy. Eliminate that problem, and we give birth to a whole new definition of FLR and female domination.  All Submissive men out there, need to let go of their fantasy and ask themselves a few fundamental questions.  One of those questions is, what do I really want? The answer you’re going to find, if you’re being honest with yourself, is to submit.  That’s it, that’s all. Period. 

There is nothing beyond that. Drop it. … No there is no … but…. drop it. Does that make it a little clearer? Your actual “ fantasy” is to submit.  That’s what you truly want. So no, when you meet a woman, you can talk to her like a human being, and get to know her.  Perhaps when comfortable enough with her, you can explain that you’re a submissive.  This will either, turn her away from you, and this should be embraced.  If she isn’t interested in your submission, let her go, try again.  If she is, then great, let it evolve from there. But remember, keep anything beyond your “fantasy” of needing to submit, out of this, forever.

“ but what about all my fantasies”  I can hear the whiny voices I’ve never met in my head.  Look.  It’s called, female led relationship, because that’s exactly what it is. Female led.  Therefore, let her lead. Let her direct you, at her pace.  Eventually communication will go to your fantasies, and you will tell her what you’re interested in, and she will then be able to consider and decide, what or if, she wishes to entertain.  

This is a good time to see how compatible you are with each other. As a submissive male, you have to understand, that it’s about her pleasure, and her lifestyle. And it’s likely very different from the version you have in your head. You have to let it go, and actually submit to her, that’s true submission. You know that’s exactly what you want, even if it doesn’t match the version in your head. 

Let her lead you, at her pace, and she will grow and evolve, and train you as she learns how, to best serve her needs. It should bring you joy and pleasure, as a submissive, to serve her this way.  This is what a true female led relationship is. It’s not the fantasy you have, but it is the reality.

Male fantasy will only paralyze the vast majority of opportunities you have in the real world.  It will scare women away from discovering their dominant sides, it will keep you a lonely sub boy surfing Tumblr every night wishing someone could accept him. 

It will keep a Domme wishing every night she could find a boy that she could make hers. Male fantasy is counter productive in almost every way, except in masturbation. It’s disrespectful to women, reading message after message of idiotic male fantasy in their inbox. 

Every single message a woman reads, that is based on male fantasy, and not respect for her, or getting to know her, is a wasted opportunity, you could be perfect for each other, and male fantasy blew it. As I said, male fantasy destroys the very idea of FLR.

Purchase the book here! Practical FLR: Lessons For A Female Led Relationship

khymeera:

dingoat:

Still hurts, but enough time’s passed for me to get out this bit of catharsis. I miss my kitty.

I’m not crying, you’re crying

adrasteiax:

“I ask for silence.
My story is long and mournful, like Ophelia’s hair.”

— Alejandra Pizarnik, from Some Of Shadow’s Texts in “Extracting The Stone Of Madness: Poems”

[translated by Yvette Siegert]

septemberequinox:

blessed samhain! the veil is thin and so is my damn patience

misbehavingmaiar:

earendil-was-a-mariner:

Bilbo: wait I get it now. The dragon is a metaphor for greed and power. We need to ‘defeat’ it by being humble when we get the treasure.

Thorin: Bilbo, for the last time, it’s a real dragon and it has my gold

It’s living in my house, Bilbo