Got something you need to do at a certain time every day (e.g., take meds)? Start giving your cat a treat right before you do it. You may have trouble remembering, but your cat absolutely will not.
This might be the most genius idea I’ve ever read.
USPS could make more money if they put post offices in airports so instead of throwing something out that you forgot was in your bag you could mail it home.
I had a server tell me about how he was harassed into going to a church baptism ceremony by a not so close friend and to get them off his back he agreed
He decided some time before that of he was going to be forced to do this her might as well have fun with it right? So he goes to lush and buys one of the black bath bombs, and cuts it in half.
Now fast forward to the day of and he is wearing a small harness under his shirt that is keeping both haves of the bath bomb one either shoulder blade.
He volunteers to get baptised
They take him up put him in the white robe and then he waits for his turn. Now the friend who invited him had no clue what he is doing. They are pleasantly surprised to see him participating.
Honestly. A mistake on their part.
I only knew this guy for a max of 45 minutes and I could already tell this dude was a chaos entity.
So his turn comes up and they go to dunk him and the water immediately starts to foam and turn black and he starts screaming like a banchee jumps out the water and hisses at the priest
Everyone fucking lost it and her was banned from ever attending that church again.
So yeah all in all seems like a great thing to do for a hilarious story
I had a sudden strike of inspiration again for making a generator! Hope someone finds it useful 🙂 Drag or screenshot!
Note: I encourage to pick 2-3 times from the additional/special abilities squares. Also to just take the body type square as a inspiration and not super strictly.
My hip new communications theory is actually that millennial/gen z/internet native humor is so weird and abstract because of the sheer amount of words we’re exposed to daily. we’ve heard a lot of words in a lot of different orders so if you wanna get a reaction out of us you usually gotta put words in an order we haven’t seen before
So like normally structured jokes aren’t as funny anymore but “lemon lime spine” is a one-hit K.O.
you know i wanna disagree with you on principle, because it can’t be that simple, but “lemon lime spine” just made me crack up for the first time all day.
I’m forever haunted by the knowledge that Dracula is a public domain work and I could literally just write Dracula AU (No listen, but hear me out, The Batchelor), and every second I’m not doing it feels like an affront to whatever god thought it would be a good idea to keep me alive.
What if Vlad Tepes turned Howard Lovecraft? Fast Forward to modern day.
Write it. Submit it to an anthology. Tell us where its published ><
Welp
I feel adrift, I don’t feel loved, it really feels like no one wants to be around me. No one seems to make the effort to talk to me anymore if I don’t reach out first. This day is shaping up to be one of the worst I’ve had in a while. I just want to get drunk and go to bed. I know it’s primarily the depression and my mother’s passive aggressiveness talking but I just want to disappear.
Dama Cherepaha 