144 here. As counterintuitive as it will seem, instead of backing off and giving him space (which is almost always a bad move), give him more opportunities to be your Dom. We’re not talking about big-ticket items here; I tend to use the catchphrase “Let him lead.”Do this by finding many small ways to keep him mindful that you belong to him and “he’s in charge.” D/s isn’t about kink, it’s about those million and one little ways in which the Dom exerts leadership. Some examples:
“I can’t decide which of these two tops to wear today. Which should i wear?”
“Please let me know what color panties today. I have green, grey, and pink.”
“I’m at the restaurant, should I have the Cobb salad or the Pad Thai?”
And the money shot: “I’m horny. May I have an orgasm?”
It is an oddly stress-relieving thing for a Dom when their submissive defers to them and lets them lead. We need that. It’s oxygen for us.
I am confirm this. Once I sent @instructor144 an ask about something similar. My Dom was moving and wasn’t naturally acting as Dominant as usually. He said to me “when life stress throws a Dom off of his game, offer him small ‘opportunities to lead’, anything from check ins to the old parties selection. The leash has two ends and by offering him yours, you both feel the pull and it strengthens the connection.”
Since putting that in practice more I can 100% confirm the truth in it. I ask permission before I do virtually anything. “Sir, may I send you a link to a Tumblr post I just read that I like a lot?” And things even as little as that make him feel more Dominant and me more submissive and it makes both of our roles easier to stay in 💜
^^^^
A must read, ladies and gents.
Please, do this, yes. “The leash has two ends”, I like that a lot
I am a submissive in a LDR with my Sir. Lately he has been experiencing stress from work and other personal relationships outside of our D/s relationship. I would like to be able to help/comfort him in some way, but am struggling on how to do so, as the way I, as a submissive, find comfort is different than how he needs comfort. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Dama Cherepaha 