krankikaiti:

Humans are space orcs (pet reptiles)

Ok so we’ve been over the whole thing that humans are terrifying to non-terrestrial, spacefaring species.

Our pack-bonding is super strong and one of the reasons we keep small predators as pets like cats and dogs.

But after awhile, other species who have put up with us must be at least a little used to cats and dogs. (Even if they aren’t huge fans of them)

So one day when a human learns they can bring pets with them on their journey, they start setting up an enclosure.

The aliens are BAFFLED because the human says they’re bringing a ‘pet’ and that usually means a medium-ish sized, mammalian predator with claws and lots of teeth and FUR.

The enclosure has substrate all over the bottom. Branches and leafy,plastic plants. At least two plastic caves, heat lamps, a big water dish, and lots of other stuff. NONE OF WHICH makes ANY sense for ‘pets’.

Finally, the enclosure is finished. The human brings their pet.

And it is a SNAKE.

Nobody was prepared for this. Earth reptiles were not on the list of recorded pets humans would keep. The human called it a ‘ball python’ and would fawn over how cute the snake was.

Every so often, a non-human crew member could be heard screaming since the human with the snake often let it crawl all over them and would hide under clothing. Peeping out occasionally.

One alien, who is friends with the human, is one day invited to watch the snake eat. Out of curiosity, they go.

And they are not prepared to watch the snake as it strikes a dead mouse held by tongs. The human praises their ‘ball python’ for being a good eater today.