he’s unsettling.
Batman’s whole basis is the idea of scaring criminals, right?
well, sure, outright intimidation through brute force works for that.
But the whole reason a bat was chosen is that the average person doesn’t understand how cute and cool they are, and finds them creepy and gross.
So let’s play that up. A Batman who uses his training in escape artistry, stage magic, and contortionism to move in ways people think humans shouldn’t be able to move. A Batman who reacts to things that he shouldn’t be able to (because his suit is wired with sensors and Alfred is monitoring things through hacked security feeds). A Batman who has a Slasher Smile.
Give me a Batman who, for the villains, seems like a cryptid. An urban legend on the level of creepypasta, some half-glimpsed shadow who, instead of being scary because of his muscles, is scary because holy shit what was that? What just happened? I’m outta here, man!
Give me a Batman where his battles with characters like Scarecrow and the Joker seem more like one of those crossover films where two horror movie monsters fight it out.
And then?
Give me a Robin and Batgirl who are the same way.
As of @sapphic-giraffic‘s
reblog, this had exactly one thousand notes. I was not expecting that, so i feel i should specify in regards to Robin:
I mean a Robin who is unsettling precisely because of people having the reaction of what the fuck is this bright and cheery child doing hanging around with an escapee from the SCP Foundation?
I mean a Robin who is a little too bright and cheery, maybe. And you start to wonder amidst all the smiles and quips, why exactly this particular “robin red-breast” has that shade of red on their chest. Why the red looks a little more brownish, why this child smells coppery when they lean in close to tell a joke. Are you sure they’re a child? Are you sure there’s just one of them?
While you’re wondering this, back at the Batcave, Bruce and the like six different kids who act as Robins are having a laugh and reapplying the fake blood Alfred bought in near-bulk quantities at the Gotham Party City during the last After-Halloween sale.
This is part of the appeal of Cassie, and she’d fit in right with this riff on Batman and Robin. No visible eyes or mouth, never speaks, moves distinctly unlike any person any crook has ever seen, and you just can’t hit her. Crooks know the Bat can be hit, he just doesn’t get hurt by it. Robin gets hit by glancing blows all the time, and everyone knows that even when he takes a hard hit, that would lay up any human for a week, he’s right back out there the next day bouncing around just fine. But Batgirl? Nothing but air. Doesn’t even look your way just sidesteps the punch or shot. Creepy.
And recently, they’ve spotted her with another freak, who’s just an empty purple cloak. Just black void inside the hood.
Yeah, that would work with this.
They say that if you sit on a fence and whisper “Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg” the Batman will come and make you into Robin.
They say that if you look in a mirror outside at night you might see him instead of yourself.
They also say that he doesn’t show up in mirrors when he’s actually there.
They say that Batgirl bathes in the blood of people who harass women at night.
They say that every bat and every robin reports to him. If it is a him.
They say he doesn’t bleed blood.
They say he dreamed Batgirl and she escaped to haunt the city.
They say the Justice League didn’t ask him to join, he just shows up in their headquarters sometimes.
They say he gets all the Joker’s jokes.
They say Batgirl dreamed him and had to come after him.
They say that Robin never grows up because it’s already dead.
next time we get a reboot, i want a Batman who isn’t grim, but instead…
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