Kangaroos are animals that seem like they should be cryptids but it’s an entire species.
God: What if we just made a really horrible man? Give it. Give it lots of things. Tail leg. Belly sack. Talons. Abs. taste for flesh. Valid driver’s license. Fur.
the ability to beat the goddamn piss out of you.
and taunt you afterward
excuse me, this is an actual kangaroo? not a cunning-edit furry joke? you’re telling me this is what literal live kangaroos look like in real life?
yeah kangaroos are actually pretty mean looking. The cute ones are wallabies.
kangaroo^
wallaby^
kangaroo^
wallaby^
this is just so fucked up
As an Australian I can attest that our national symbol is indeed a jerk.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get better… I give to you, the Eastern Wallaroo. The females look like decently sized wallabies or maybe an undersized Eastern Grey:
Fairly standard, just a little chunky. But the males? Look like something else entirely. They are huge – often almost double the size of the does – and in this species of wallaroo, they are black.
This shot courtesy of Laurence Sanders on Bowerbird.Take a look at that buck! Look how short and thick that tail is, and the bulk of those forearms! Sure, they aren’t as tall as a red or even a large eastern, but I can personally assure you they’re large enough to look clear over the bonnet of a Landrover at you.
Imagine, like me, the first time you saw one, you had no idea there were any in the area. It was completely unexpected. Maybe you’d frequented this patch of bush a little bit, thought you might have a bit of a handle on it’s residents. Picture yourself driving out of a survey just on sundown. You’re taking it slowly because this is when macropods and all other critters like to come out to eat. You round a corner and, sitting square in the middle of the next corner, you see something like this:
The thickest, blackest macropod you’ve ever seen. It doesn’t look like a grey – not even the big boomers – the tail is too short and so dense with muscle it looks like a double-barrelled shotgun. It’s definitely too large to be a rock wallaby and entirely too dark. In the murk of the twilight, it looks almost solidly black, save for the flicker of eyeshine as it looks towards your approaching vehicle. Whatever it is, it’s large enough to stare you in the eye over the bonnet as you come to a halt. It doesn’t jump out of the way until you roll the truck within a meter of it – and takes off up the rocky hillside like it’s flat ground. Congratulations, you’ve just seen a male eastern wallaroo!
Now you can all rest assured that macropods are entirely off their chops and even the small ones look like the Jersey Devil scoffed a box of protein powder and wants to square up with you.
Dama Cherepaha 